“Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds.” ~ Elie Wiesel
One particularly difficult afternoon, a young woman on my team stopped by the office and asked if she could talk. As she sat down across from my desk I immediately sensed that she was hurting. Her eyes were red and wet with ready tears as she held a notebook against her chest in a death grip. Considering how my day had gone so far, I braced myself for a difficult conversation and my imagination began to run wild with various imaginary disasters.
Resisting the urge to start the conversation with the obligatory, “what’s wrong?”, I asked her to relax her body and take a deep breath while I did the same. With this small, calming ritual behind us I looked her in the eyes and spoke these words… “Whatever this is about, remember, I am for you.” These were not rehearsed words, they came into my heart as the words she needed, so I spoke them, unsure of how she might react.
At that moment, that’s all she needed from me, to know that she had an ally, someone who believed in her. She poured out the frustration and fear she felt after a particularly difficult meeting where a project she had labored over for weeks had been dismissed in cynical fashion by a particularly bullying senior executive in the organization.
While the treatment she received was far from appropriate, there were lessons to be learned in how she prepared for the audience and presented her proposal, especially knowing that this individual would be in the room. We worked through the experience together, what it meant and how she might put it to use to learn and grow.
This painful experience happened to her, but it would not define her. She decided to give it a different meaning.
From that point forward I had the honor of mentoring her for as long as I remained at the organization. Her development was a joy to watch and she became a great encouragement to me during our time working together.
I believe the key to our conversation and connection was the power of those three simple words…”I’m for You”.
Words have tremendous power. In particular when they come from someone in authority or for whom we have respect. Successful parents, teachers, and leaders of all types recognize the importance of instilling belief and confidence in the hearts of the people they serve.
Simple, yet powerful words that frame the relationship and provide the foundation for positive influence.
I’m with You. - You are not alone. I will be here to support you.
I need You. - You are valuable. I know this will be better with your help.
I trust You. - You are capable. I know you can do this.
I appreciate You. - You are unique. I am grateful for who you are.
For all of the complexities of leadership with its strategies, decisions, problems and politics it always comes down to this person..in this moment.
When we speak these simple and sincere words into the lives of others we invest in the true purpose of leadership.