The truth for me is that I spend a lot more time dealing with the inner world of leadership than I do the outer world.
The inner world of emotions, beliefs, fears, ambitions, expectations, hurts, hang-ups, self-image and so on.
The outer world of leadership is presented as a series of formulas, theories, tips, and systems.
Inputs and outputs.
All very useful.
But only part of the story.
The inner world is messy.
It routinely defies our best-laid plans and puts us at odds with the image we are trying to maintain.
It complicates all those pretty formulas.
It affects our outer world experiences.
How we treat people.
How we react to problems.
How we respond to success.
How we feel about our work.
To name a few.
When there is a disconnect between our outer world and our inner world we may suffer. We can feel the gap and we worry that we will be exposed or start feeling that we are not worthy of the gifts or opportunities we have been given.
The challenges of our inner world can sneak up on us, prompted by some new experience or triggered by an unrelated but painfully familiar context. For some of us this is further complicated by hurts inflicted on us early in life. These reactions often defy logic; compelling us to behave irrationally or launching us into an imaginary story that robs us of our wisdom, awareness and energy.
To navigate the outer world of leadership, we must learn to navigate our inner world and recognize that these same stories are playing out in everyone we support and serve. If we deny, suppress or judge these experiences they will find a way to manifest themselves, often in ways that defeat our true intentions.
There are no one-size-fits-all maps for this journey. Every story is unique. The path is revealed only in the present moment. One small step at a time.
Yet there are some actions we can take that will help to light the way.
We can develop a circle of friends that we trust with our story and who meet our difficulties with compassion, attentive listening and considerate counsel.
We can spend time each day in reflection, journaling, meditation, prayer or other similar activities that allow us to listen to our hearts and meet our struggles with acceptance, forgiveness and compassion as we set our intention to become more like the person we long to be.
We can make the time to read books, learn from the stories of others and listen to teaching that helps us gain perspective on our inner life and learn how we might overcome some of the obstacles we face.
We can learn to be vulnerable with the people we serve in our leadership. Letting them in on the fact that we know we’re not perfect, that we struggle too and that we need their help.
We can learn to pause and recognize that while these thoughts feel very real, that doesn’t make them true. There may be more to the story if we will accept the present emotion yet remain still, listen and open up to other possibilities.
Every day as leaders we are navigating these two, interconnected worlds.
Our willingness to accept this perspective and embrace the opportunities and challenges it presents will have a deep impact on how we experience this time in our lives and how we influence the people with whom we come in contact.
If you have thoughts on this topic please join the conversation by sharing your comments below.
July 14, 2015 at 9:43 am
I always enjoy your posts and get so much out of them! Thank you for your words and for helping me think about leadership in a different way.
July 15, 2015 at 4:21 pm
Thank you, Jessica. I’m so glad you are finding these post helpful. You know what? I do too. As I am writing I am also learning and considering how all of this fits into my life. You are always welcome to share what you are learning and what these topics mean to you.
July 15, 2015 at 12:34 am
Your article echoes the very essence of leadership yet frequently ignored by many leadership development effort. The inner circle of leadership can also be nurtured by continuous search of the true meaning and bigger purpose in life. Allocating time for reflection and be mindful about the things that we do in life and how it correspond with innermost values is also worth a try.
I like your article. Since I have witnessed how the advancement of outer technical aspects of leadership without at the same time having inner understanding of meaning, values and bigger purpose, frequently lead to ill-purpose, (even) manipulative and meaningless deeds of actions and decision making.
July 15, 2015 at 4:24 pm
Well said, Novianta. The inner life will always make its way into the outer life. Many of our leadership traditions and campaigns are focused primarily out the visible behaviors and actions while ignoring the inner person. It is hard to manifest into the world what we do not have in our hearts.