Tag: Personal Development (page 1 of 2)

As Long as You Lead, Keep Learning How to Lead

Leadership is the gift you unpack every day.

It’s the same but it’s never the same.

Always something new to learn.

Something new to try.

It will surprise you.

Frustrate you.

Move you.

Just when you think you’ve got it sorted out.

It suddenly slips through your fingers.

The answer you had in mind,

Doesn’t work this time.

So you adapt.

You learn.

That’s the nature of life.

“As long as you live, keep learning how to live.” - Seneca

Leadership is not a formula.

Leadership is organic.

What worked for someone else,

Might not work for you.

Or where you are.

So open your mind.

And open your eyes.

Listen.

Take it all in.

Try to find the path,

That’s right for you.

And right for them.

  • Keep learning how to lead yourself.
    The first and most important part of the journey is growing in self-awareness and building the internal compass and character that will guide you through the experiences you will face. This too is a process that never ends as long as you remain open, flexible and willing to change with each new discovery.
  • Keep learning how to lead others.
    People will stretch you to your limits. They will challenge you, teach you and inspire you. There are endless opportunities to expand your impact and your influence. Because you can’t see yourself clearly, nor fully understand what others feel or need, it is important to pay attention and try to see things from their point of view.
  • Keep learning how to lead the way.
    Take the risk to open up about what you see as possible and beneficial then engage others in sharing their opinions and ideas. With each new attempt at building support and engaging others in a plan to achieve meaningful goals, you will grow in your ability to influence and facilitate change.
  • Keep learning how to lead from your heart.
    Sometimes, what seems like the obvious choice may not be the best choice. You will experience situations where you heart and mind may feel like they are in conflict. Going with your intuition can seem like a risk, and there is no guarantee things will work out, but in the end, you will only learn to trust yourself if you practice following you heart.
  • Keep learning how to lead from your values.
    With every new leadership role, your values will be tested. Count on it. How you respond to each situation, and the choices you make, will impact your credibility, trust, and self-esteem. Sometimes your values may put you at odds with people in authority or with the culture of an organization. This can be among the toughest learning experiences you will face.
  • Keep learning how to lead from your dreams.
    Don’t lose touch with the image of who you want to be and the things you want to accomplish and experience. Take the time to consider how you can weave your life goals into your leadership practice. Share your dreams with those you serve and invite them to share their dreams with you. Learn how helping others reach their dreams will help you reach your own.

As long as you lead, keep learning how to lead.

6 Practices for Cultivating a Fresh Perspective

 

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“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” ― Aldous Huxley

One of our most significant challenges as humans and leaders is the inclination to maintain equilibrium. In other words, we like to stick with what has worked for us in the past and hold on to beliefs and perceptions that make sense to us based on our life experience. The risk, of course, is that while this may be a more comfortable and less demanding way to operate, our habitual patterns may get us into trouble when they are applied incorrectly.

Another challenge with clinging to our established script is that we become very limited in our ability to adapt to a rapidly changing environment. Most of us have known people who complained of being stuck in their career development when new workplace demands left them behind or railed against changes they were unwilling to entertain while the rest of the organization moved on without them. We can see that they have created a self-limiting way of being and are blaming others for their own inflexibility and progress. Yet, before we judge, we might want to take a look in the mirror.

Every day, without thinking much about it, we wake up, eat our bagels and switch on our operating system. The programs we use have been developed over time, through trial and error, to help us reduce our decision overhead and operate more efficiently. They allow us to quickly assess, judge and choose a response to the situations we encounter during the day. This is all well and good, but it is important to be aware that just because our programming suggests a response, emotion or reaction, we are not required to act accordingly. We can ignore the program, choose a different program available to us but perhaps not as easily accessible, or decide to rewrite the program altogether. This is our greatest gift and source of personal power as a human being.

Certainly there are routine decisions and interactions where our programming works effectively, but it is important to remember that the world is much bigger and more complex than our program. True reality is never quite in line with our perspective. Problems may appear, at first glance, to fit one of our standard solutions, but we may be missing something important that lies just beneath the surface. Some of our mental and emotional programming may have developed in response to pain or fear that is no longer present in our lives but still drives our behavior. To improve our ability to provide an appropriate response, we must cultivate the art of creating a fresh perspective. Not just once but as an ongoing practice.

6 Practices for Cultivating a Fresh Perspective

  1. Develop Self-Awareness - Gather feedback on how others perceive you in an effort to identify your patterns and beliefs. Take the time to reflect honestly about your life, what you are experiencing and your role in these outcomes. Share your observations with people you trust and who care about you to try and balance self-criticism with opportunities for self-improvement.
  2. Invoke the Power of the Pause - Practice the art of non-action. Unless it’s a life or death situation you usually have more time for reflection than you want to admit. Most of our rush to action is due to the feeling that we need to get this thing out of the way so we can move on to the next thing. Of course, we spend even more time later picking up the pieces. Take a breath. Think about it and see what other options are available to you and which of those options most closely align with your values and what you really want to see happening in the long-term.
  3. Welcome Discomfort - Try to routinely put yourself in situations you normally try to avoid or that push your normal limits. When you get out of your comfort zone to a place where your old habits don’t apply you learn about yourself and become more aware of how your mindset may be limited. You also develop more self-confidence, curiosity, and flexibility.
  4. Invite Disagreement - If you try to avoid people who think differently or bring a different perspective to life it makes it easy to become attached to your ways of thinking. You don’t learn by listening only to yourself. That’s like listening to an English language program and hoping to learn French. To expand your mind and take on more of the current reality, you must learn to encourage and honestly process criticism. While it may not feel good in the short-term it will help you make better choices over time. Seek the people out who aren’t going to just accept your opinion and let them give you another way to view the situation.
  5. Stretch Your Perspective - Read books about other cultures, times, places, contexts. Attend a conference that isn’t directly aligned with what you do. Travel to a place that challenges your cultural and social norms. Go out into your community and spend time with people who are not like you, don’t think like you, weren’t raised like you. The list goes on. If your perspective is limited to the same, small, known universe it is very difficult to imagine how to see the world differently. Stereotypes, labels, and categories may make decision-making easier, but they are a lazy approach to operating in an extraordinarily diverse world. Choose curiosity over complacency.
  6. Ask Powerful Questions - Don’t settle for asking questions to get the answer you want to hear. Ask questions that invite alternatives, options, opinions, and critique. There is so much untapped knowledge available in the many unique experiences of the people around you. Tap into this great wealth. This applies to the questions you ask yourself. Are you prone to making pronouncements and statements-as-fact through your inner dialog? Ask yourself more what-else-could-this-mean or is-that-really-true type questions. Better questions equal better outcomes. Questions are the most powerful tool in our language, use them well.

Someone once said, “when we stop growing we start dying”. A fresh perspective keeps life interesting and always evolving. It is the soil in which we grow and the more we expand and cultivate this soil the more we will flourish and provide a resource for those we love and serve.

Your thoughts and feedback are welcome.

 

A Leader’s Relationship with Fear

fear

Fear is the unseen hand that influences almost everything we do.

It is present in every relationship.

It intervenes in every decision.

It responds to every event.

It assumes every intent.

We’re wired for fear.

And we don’t like to talk about it.

That sounds pretty dramatic, but I’m really just setting the context. Our minds are designed to protect us. In every situation we experience, the brain is on the look-out for anything that might present a physical, emotional or personal risk.

Depending on the beliefs we have developed about the world, and ourselves, the fear voice may be more or less intense, but it will be there nonetheless. When you think about it, there are many scenarios, every day, in our lives and in our role as a leader, that can trigger a fear response.

Fear of rejection

Fear of judgment

Fear of failure

Fear of loss

Fear of being exposed

To name a few.

You may be familiar with the natural responses to fear.

Fight

Flight

Freeze

There really is no way to avoid this natural fear response and, paradoxically, any effort to refuse, reject or run from our fears is likely to give them more, not less power over our lives.

If we are unaware of the influence our fear is having on our choices and actions, or fail to respond appropriately, the impact will be significant.

We lose access to our intelligence.

We lose access to our creativity.

We lose access to spontaneity.

We lose access to our heart.

We become limited to protective, reactive and impulsive responses versus skillful, informed and thoughtful choices. These conscious or unconscious choices can derail our leadership, our ability to influence and the trust we have worked so hard to cultivate.

They inspire controlling, manipulating and avoidance behaviors, none of which will result in the types of outcomes we truly desire. In fact, they will likely generate more of the scenarios that we intended to avoid in the first place.

So what are we to do?

Only by accepting and embracing our fears can we move beyond them and make new options available and, therefore, possible. You’ve probably heard this before, but what does it look like?

It looks like acceptance instead of avoidance.

It looks like compassion instead of judgment.

It looks like connection instead isolation.

It looks like expanding instead of contracting.

It looks like curiosity instead of control.

In simplest terms, we make a friend of our fear. We expect this visitor and we invite them to sit down and talk. We empathize with this friend, hearing their concerns and offering alternatives while affirming their desire to help, to protect us. We listen compassionately to the fear story, but we don’t make it our story.

Instead of rejecting this part of ourselves we learn to let it serve us while we develop the strength to respond proactively and effectively. We tune into resources that are bigger than our fear such as our faith, our community, our beliefs, and values. We recognize that love is always available, even when we’re scared.

And if some of our fears come to fruition, we are better prepared to accept the outcome knowing we made the best choice we could with the resources available to us and so we learn from the experience move on. We appreciate that life is unpredictable and that pain is unavoidable if we are going to move into the world and try to make a difference.

What is your relationship with fear? How does this influence your leadership? Your relationships?

Please share.

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” - Marcus Aurelius

(Credit to Tara Brach on a recent podcast, Beyond the Fear Body, for providing the inspiration for and a few of the points outlined in this post)

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