lightintunnel

The Key Question

What are we pretending not to know…

You know what I’m talking about because everyone is talking about it. Well, not so much about it as around it. And of course, that depends on who is in the room.

Denial is the silent killer. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we humans have a huge capacity to pretend not to see what is right in front of us. Worse yet, we may see the problem but refuse to acknowledge it or take action to prevent the inevitable consequences. On an personal level, the price might be our marriage, our job, our health or our financial stability. At an organizational level, the costs are multiplied and might show up in a loss of talent, ethical failures, poor results and lack of innovation.

That’s why it is so important to cash your reality checks.

Reality checks come in different forms. You’ve experienced them. You see the cracks forming in the dam, but you’re not sure anyone else does so you are afraid to speak up. More problems begin to appear. Small fires but symptomatic of a bigger problem. A pattern begins to develop. Private conversations show a deeper truth that needs the light of day, but no one wants to go there. Relationships break down. Creative energy is channeled into maintaining the masquerade or finding someone or something to blame instead of addressing the problem. Until one day, the problem is too big to be ignored and by then it is too late. The reality checks were never deposited and now the account is empty.

Maybe the reality check is a major event. The serious tremors that warn us of the coming earthquake. Undeniable right? Yet time and again organizations have shown the capacity to ignore even the most obvious signals that something is terribly wrong. They scramble to the stuff the cracks in the walls with paper and promises but refuse acknowledge the crumbling foundation. The equivalent of winning the “reality check lottery” but the ticket is never claimed. They press on, patting themselves on the back for their resilience while maintaining the status quo.

As a leader, you can help your organization cash these reality checks.

  • Cultivate a culture of transparency.
  • Say what you are thinking.
  • Speak about what others might be thinking.
  • State the problem clearly.
  • Check for understanding.
  • Listen carefully.
  • Engage in open dialog.
  • Ask open-ended questions.
  • Invite contrary opinions.
  • Challenge assumptions.
  • Make getting closer to reality more important than being right.
  • Address passive aggressive behavior
  • Let others test your “hypothesis”.
  • Act on what you learn.

Reality checks have tremendous value but only if we take advantage of what they offer. In the short-term the changes they may require of us can be painful, but in the long run, they may likely save us from ourselves. Our willingness to be aware, honest, open and responsive can be the difference between success and failure.

“When dealing with a problem try creating a laboratory instead of a courtroom.”