Month: October 2015 (page 1 of 2)

Shedding our Sumo Suits

sumo

We’re always bumping into each other.

Not literally, of course, that would hurt.

We’d have to wear those big sumo suits you see during the funny, between-inning antics at a minor league baseball game.

But come to think of it, maybe it really is kind of like that, only the suits are invisible and all the bumping and crashing is going on in our heads.

My insecurity bumps into your need for control.

Your desire for autonomy bumps into my fear of failure.

My pain bumps into your offhand comment.

Your drive to succeed bumps into my quest for balance.

Think of the sumo suit as this kind of protective outer shell we use to cushion the blows and hide what’s on the inside.

An emotional costume.

A mask for our true intentions.

It’s kind of funny when you think about it.

Imagine if everyone came to the office today dressed in a sumo suit.

Morning staff meeting - sumo suits.

Big project meeting - sumo suits.

Hanging out in the break room - sumo suits.

Your boss stops by - sumo suit.

Office dog… OK, no sumo suit.

She doesn’t need one.

So here we are every day, bouncing around the office in our sumo suits.

Avoiding real contact with people.

Measuring up our fellow sumo.

Watching their moves.

Checking the size of their suits.

Looking for an angle.

Trying to keep our balance.

Bracing for impact.

Carefully bumping someone over the nearby cubicle wall.

But not so anyone would notice.

Or maybe we don’t wear our sumo suits all the time.

We just keep them under our seats like the inflatable emergency vest on an airplane.

Ready to pull the cord when we sense danger.

The problem with sumo suits is that they make everyone look the same.

They turn collaboration into competition.

They keep us all at arm’s length.

They dictate the stories in our heads.

Taking off our sumo suit makes us vulnerable.

It’s a risk.

Someone has to go first.

Then others will follow.

That’s leadership.

Now we can see one another.

We share our stories.

We learn to understand.

We turn our differences into strengths.

And save the sumo suits for the Christmas party.

No Cure for Curiosity

curious-quote-dorothy-parker

Leadership isn’t a recipe.

Or a formula.

Or a series of steps.

It’s a mountain to be explored.

To be broken and reshaped.

But never conquered.

The more we think we know.

The less we know.

No matter how long we lead.

How many books we read.

There is always more to learn.

More to try.

More to give.

Great leadership is born out of insatiable curiosity.

  • Curiosity about people.
    Their gifts. What they care about. What they can teach us.
  • Curiosity about the future.
    Changes in the world. Patterns that are emerging. Where it might lead us.
  • Curiosity about mistakes.
    How they can serve us. What we learned. What to try next.
  • Curiosity about our organization.
    The culture. The way people treat each other. Valuing differences.
  • Curiosity about alternatives.
    Things we find difficult. Opposing viewpoints. What we might be missing.
  • Curiosity about why.
    The purpose behind the work. The reason we are here. Choices we make.
  • Curiosity about how.
    The way things get done. How it could be better. Things we haven’t tried.
  • Curiosity about change.
    How it feels. The way people respond. What worked and what didn’t.
  • Curiosity about ourselves.
    How we are changing. Who we are becoming. How others see us.

The real experience of leadership never quite fits the neatly packaged solutions we read about and often defies our ideas of how we think it should work. In the day-to-day it’s messy and difficult and moves too fast. Our leadership is lived in the moment.

We dig for the right answers and we make the best choice we can, and with each experience we can learn. When we see the world through the lens of curiosity, every day becomes an opportunity to grow. To become by some small step, a better leader than we were yesterday.

Because all we can really know.

Is that there isn’t much we really know.

And when we finally figure that out.

Every day is a new beginning.

Leader, Hold Fast

holdfast

In leadership -

There are things we need to let go.

And things we need to hold fast.

Sailors throughout history have tattooed the words hold fast across the fingers of each hand.

A reminder to keep a firm grip on the rope or risk being washed overboard in rough seas.

During this journey, our strength and courage will be tested.

Unexpected storms strike in our personal lives, our organizations and our careers.

Threatening to cast us adrift.

The rope -

A source of courage, balance, direction, and connection.

  • Hold fast to your purpose -
    the reason you set sail on this leadership journey
  • Hold fast to your heart -
    the intuition that guides you even when you can’t see clearly
  • Hold fast to your values -
    the internal compass that guides your words and actions
  • Hold fast to your faith -
    the belief that the storm can teach you and will not break you
  • Hold fast to your freedom -
    the power to choose your response to any circumstance
  • Hold fast to your friends -
    the people who encourage you and strengthen your grip
  • Hold fast to your dreams -
    the person you want to be and the life you want to create

Even when the skies seem clear, beware the rogue wave.

Tend to your rope.

Strengthen your rope.

Secure your rope.

Hold fast to your rope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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